Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
