FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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