if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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