Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nicole vs. Life
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
