Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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