i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
