4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
