My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We left the knife in your bed.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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