So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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