Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
