you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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