dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
