i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
