just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
