I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
