Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
