while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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