that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
