I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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