i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
