you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
