I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
