I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
