it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
