I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Operation Purity has been aborted
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
