I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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