I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
