you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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