this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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