terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
