You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
