i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
