i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
