I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
