How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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