Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
