Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
