I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
