fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
