I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
