No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
