It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize