I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
