I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
