Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
