Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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