No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
