I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
