she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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