Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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