so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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