I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
