Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
