it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
